Creating a programming language is a bold quest for dominion. If you write a language, you're going to want a lot of people to use it, right? It’s not so different from the conquest sought by the characters in the “Game of Thrones” series on HBO.
James Gosling, the creator of Java, knows this. When he talks about Java, he likes to brag about the billions of machines running the code. And about how Twitter, Netflix, and many other dominant web properties use his language heavily. He counts every Android phone, every Blu-ray disc player, and every version of the Java virtual machine. He reminds all of the programmer knights that their loyalty to the Java empire pays their wages.
In honor of this month's season premiere of "The Game of Thrones," (season six) here are some comparisons I've made between various programming languages and the show's characters.
Java
Daenerys Targaryen is Java
She surrounds herself with a great ecosystem of advisors and is popular for freeing those enslaved in the past, as Java freed users from Microsoft. Many viewers want her to end up as queen of Westeros, and like Java, she has the support system to achieve world conquest.
JavaScript
Tyrion Lannister is JavaScript
His popularity is huge among viewers, but the people of King’s Landing mistrust him and criticize some of his seemingly strange physical traits. He certainly has some bad parts and doesn’t always do the nice thing, but he’s clever and innovative.
HBO / via credit
C
Tywin Lannister is C
He’s pretty dead now, but his legacy lives on. More than anyone in the series, he knew how to get things done and understood everything going on beneath the surface. C is the kind of the language you'd use to write a program that helps you skin a huge lion you just shot with a crossbow while lecturing your son about family tradition. Old school.
C++
Cersei Lannister is C++
A very powerful but more horrifying version of C. Sometimes it just generates a big ol' mess. Cersei is the same.
HBO / via credit
C#
Margaery Tyrell is C#
She's as ambitious and as cunning as Java. She wants to rule, but not in the same way as Daenerys. She chooses to rule from behind the scenes. She’s opening up and helping the people because it’s in her best interests.
PHP
Bronn is PHP
A lovable rogue who's very popular with viewers. He gets things done by any means necessary. It’s often not pretty or elegant.
HBO / via credit
Ruby
Melisandre is Ruby
Sometimes she shows off powerful magic. Although, it seems that she can’t deliver on all her prophecies. She’s been known to lure people in with her beauty and then suddenly ruin everything.
Python
Brienne of Tarth is Python
A noble knight who believes in the purity and honor of whitespace, she has a strong fan base and is very good at a few particular tasks. Namely dueling.
SQL
Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish is SQL
This character is always behind the scenes, keeping track of everything. He’s very good with numbers and accounting. Money and knowledge are his weapons of choice. In times of chaos, people come to him. Chaos is a ladder.
HBO / via credit
Go
Olenna Tyrell is Go
Though many don't pay attention to her, she’s just as cunning and adept at the game as Tywin Lannister.
Swift
Arya Stark is Swift
Arya is an up-and-coming character that’s absolutely killing it right now. She may be open source now, but she’s still a Stark.
Perl 5
Sandor “The Hound” Clegane is Perl 5 (because Perl 6 is a new language in a lot of ways)
He ain’t pretty, but he's pretty skilled at what he does. He got knocked off a cliff, but you didn't see him die, did you?
HBO / via credit
R
Samwell Tarly is R
He’s not an all-purpose character, but he’s great at reading a lot of books and gaining helpful insights.
Scala
Davos Seaworth is Scala
He always gives great advice because he has a very different way of viewing the world. But some people just don’t get him.
Clojure
Jaqen H'ghar is Clojure
He’s such a mixture of things and changes faces so often, you don’t know who he really is. Apparently he’s no one, and that makes him powerful.
Rust
Bran Stark is Rust
He's still young but has incredible potential. He might be a king when it’s all said and done, once he takes flight.
HBO / via credit
Objective-C
Jaime Lannister is Objective-C
He was the darling of King’s Landing for a while, but now that he’s lost his edge (see hand). Now that Swift has stolen the spotlight from Objective-C, there’s not much joy left in his life.
HBO / via credit
Visual Basic
Joffrey Baratheon (Lannister really) is Visual Basic
Thankfully, he’s dead now.
COBOL
Robert Baratheon is COBOL
He was powerful at one time, but now he’s dead.
Fortran
Viserys Targaryen is Fortran
He's super-dead. Didn't even make it through the first season. That's how dead.
Any other languages you'd like to draw comparisons with? Do you think another language is a better fit for one of the characters mentioned here?
Check out our other "Game of Thrones" themed posts this week:
25 "Game of Thrones" characters and their best fit for roles in a tech company
5 times agile could have saved "Game of Thrones" characters
Image credit: Flickr
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